Thursday, February 11, 2010


There is a rampant crime spree in Bellingham. This surly gangsta (pictured below) robbed two Starvin' Sams. Oddly enough, he didn't demand money, just Hostess products.

Regardless, my fine Bellingham citizens, I beg of you to lock your doors, keep your children inside, take up arms, and for the love of god, lock up the Twinkies and Ho Ho's. We are experiencing the breakdown of our society before our very eyes. The end is nigh.
THE BELLINGHAM HERALD Bellingham police believe this man stole cash from a Starvin Sam's mini-mart on 32nd Street on Monday, Feb. 8, 2010 and from another on Meridian Street on Thursday, Feb. 4. Anyone with information about these crime should call Detective Donna Miller at (360) 778-8817.


Anonymous said...

Robbing a store for Twinkies and Hostess? Is that guy a raving lunatic? Who would actually pay for those products anyway???
Now Krispy Kreme...maybe that is a different story...

Jeff Westcott said...

mmm. doughnuts.